There is a sentence I hear ALL the time from pregnant women. “They said I’m not allowed.” Not allowed a home birth. Not allowed in the birth centre. Not allowed a VBAC. Not allowed to go past a certain number of weeks. Not allowed to decline induction. Not allowed in the pool. Not allowed to have a vaginal birth because the baby is measuring big. And whenever I hear it, my first question is normally: Who actually said you’re not allowed? Because there is a huge fucking differ

There’s something happening in maternity care right now that I want every pregnant woman to know about. It’s called Martha’s Rule. Not because I want you spending your pregnancy worrying about everything that could possibly go wrong, or because I think you need yet another bloody thing to research, save, screenshot and add to the endless list of things pregnant women are apparently supposed to know. But because if you are ever sitting in a hospital bed thinking something is w

I didn’t create The You Decide Methood. I just finally realised I’d been using it all along. A few months ago, somebody asked me a question that completely caught me off guard. They weren’t asking how many births I’d attended or where I’d trained, and they weren’t looking for the usual list of qualifications that people expect to hear when they’re choosing a doula. They simply asked, “What is it that you actually do that changes women so much?” At first, I didn’t really know

People think the hardest part of being a doula is the lack of sleep and long births. It’s really not. Well , not for me. Yes, there are the 2am phone calls. The crazily long labours. The times where I’ve forgotten to eat because somebody else’s baby is making their way into the world. There are the weeks where my washing basket is overflowing because I’ve spent more time in other people’s homes than my own or driving up and down the M4 800 times in 5 days. But none of that is

The “Geriatric Pregnancy” Label Is Nonsense. Here’s Proof From Women Who’ve Lived It There’s a moment in every pregnancy after 35 where the paperwork changes. The chart gets a new label. The tone in the room shifts, just slightly. Suddenly you’re not just pregnant you’re “advanced maternal age.” Geriatric, even, if the midwife still uses that word. And here’s the thing that’s always bothered me, my body didn’t fail overnight. I wasn’t healthier twelve hours before my 35th bi

How an IVF pregnancy, a planned induction at 41+5 weeks and one extraordinary woman reminded me that confidence can be the most powerful birth preparation of all. Hi, and welcome. If you've somehow stumbled across this little corner of the internet, I'm so glad you're here. Feel free to leave a comment, introduce yourself and say hello. This isn't necessarily going to be an educational blog, although there will undoubtedly be plenty of birth talk because it's my favourite sub

Imagine This… I often find myself daydreaming about births. Not because I’m obsessed with birth (although, let’s be honest, I absolutely am), but because I’ve seen what happens when a woman is left alone to do what her body already knows how to do. So today, I want you to imagine something with me. Imagine you’re 41 weeks pregnant. No panic. No countdown. No phone calls asking when you’re “coming in.” No feeling like you’re carrying around a ticking time bomb. You wake up and

I was sitting in the garden today, watching my little girl splashing around in the pool while the sun was shining, and I had a very simple thought. I’d love a glass of Sauvignon Blanc right now. Cold. One ice cube. A bag of crisps on the side. Absolute perfection. But I can’t. And that’s the reality of being an on-call doula. I’m at home every day with my daughter because we home educate. It means I have to have childcare sorted at a moment’s notice. My doula bag is always pa

What 37 Births Have Taught Me About Trusting Women Every so often someone lands on my Instagram page and decides they've got me figured out. "She's the freebirth doula." "She only supports low-risk women." "Well of course her statistics look like that, she probably only works with uncomplicated pregnancies." I always laugh a little because the reality couldn't be further from the truth. Over the last two years I've supported 37 families through pregnancy, birth and postpartum

Let's talk about due dates. Or, as I like to call them... The absolute bullshit lies you're being fed. Strong start? Good. Because if you're over 39 weeks pregnant right now, I can almost guarantee somebody has already started making you feel like your body is failing. Maybe it's your aunt asking, "Still no baby?" Maybe it's the daily texts. Maybe it's the midwife saying, "We need to start talking about induction." Maybe it's the app on your phone that has suddenly changed fr